Now before I start this ‘beauty’ side of things and pretend I’m all perfect (but I’ve really just put a JCB load of foundation on AND put blemish remover on my pics) I want to get one thing very clear.. MY. SKIN. HATES ME. That’s the first time I’ve said it online (apart from insta this year) and you probably wouldn’t have guessed from my photos unless you see me in person.. you’re well and truly catfished (sorry).
For a number of years, I’ve struggled with highly sought after – acne.
This was me at my absolute worst about 3 years ago, and at the time I didn’t realise how bad it was – it’s only looking back that I could see how bad it was (this still isn’t as bad as some cases) – this was also the photo I showed the doctors who put me on the medication.
I’ve been on numerous types of medication, creams, treatments and antibiotics – and some did actually work, yes! But I was taken off them because I wasn’t having regular blood tests and they can kill my kidneys. Apparently – that’s bad?
Sometimes people look at me in confusion, almost as if they’re wondering why you don’t wash your face or put spot cream on? Have they not seen the adverts? (Like Clearasil solves everything! *extreme levels of sarcasm*) Oh, they need that product I saw on QVC, that’ll fix them. – *my eyes have rolled away*
SO.. here we are now, no medication, just skin products and good old soap and water.
How am I fairing? Not that great to be frank.
I find that I get infections on my face much more quickly now – I won’t lie if something is on my face and is causing me pain.. I will gauge the absolute manure out of it. #instantregrets but I’d rather a red lump than a throbbing pressure thanks.
It’s also something I do if I’m bored or anxious. I used to pull out my eyebrows and eyelashes though so I mean, neither is brilliant?
Thus I am left with splotches, pigmentation issues, dry flaky patches and ‘scabs’; I can’t stand the word scabs it sends shivers down my spine bleugh!
So? Cover them up – it’s what concealer is for.. duh?!
NOPE – you can’t… well I mean you could. There’s just something about concealer sitting in cracks of injured skin that just doesn’t give off that naturally flawless vibe we all want, you know?
To be honest, I have just accepted that I have acne, and I probably always will (unless I’m willing to sacrifice my kidneys). I have EXTREMELY oily skin! No seriously, blotting paper? Suck a toe. I’ll finish 4 on my forehead before I can move on. I have to have a tissue unless you actually want to fry an egg on my face.. no worries! After about an hour, I’ll be shining brighter than diamonds yet again.
It’s mainly on my face now, I used to have it really bad on my shoulders (still do sometimes!)– the most self-conscious time in my life let me tell you, wouldn’t ever get my shoulders out! #deadsummer
I’m like a cheetah! My spots make me who I am! No that’s not what I meant.. point is, I know that acne is just part of me now and if people don’t like it, they can look away.
Yes, I am aware I have red spots all over my face, no, it’s not red pen, I don’t have the chicken pox (yes I’ve been asked these several times, really) – I am self-conscious of it, obviously. I only take selfies on my good days! Even then they have an extravagant filter over them.
Maybe in time, I’ll learn to love my skin the way it is. I don’t half get jealous when someone with tiny pores and zero texture comes my way though! As in my sister!!
You’re not alone if you have acne, it’s common and most people will get it at some point during there lives. I haven’t figured out why I have mine yet – I’ll let you know if I do!
I’ve cut out dairy, cut down on caffeine, wash my face twice a day and keep my skin moisturised. I don’t drink enough water though and I must stop touching my face.
My acne is very rarely ‘white heads’ and surface marks too. These days I suffer from a lot of cystic acne, I can have a spot that will grow in 10 mins and then go down again by the end of the day. I can have one that will be there for a week until it comes to the surface. They’re painful and if they’re in certain places, you can’t pull facial expressions without getting a twinge.
I didn’t suffer with acne as a teen and it all started when I left school and went to work – I’m well aware that stress could be a causer here. (I actually think it is the main cause looking back if that’s even possible!)
Good luck with all your skincare journeys if you’re on one! I’ll be posting more on products soon! This was just the introduction to let you know that, I’m gonna be keeping it real around here and that there is no point running from flaws.
Thanks for reading!